I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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