my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
