3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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