I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
