girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
