She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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