why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
