The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
