I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
