i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
