Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
