Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
