We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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