Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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