we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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