listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
