Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My bed smells like the plague
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
