I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I had to cum in my sink.
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