So drunk its hurt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
