yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
