did you get engaged???
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
