Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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