I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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