Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
