I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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