As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
