I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
