You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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