Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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