That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
