my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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