who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
