it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
