Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think your dad took our porno
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
