I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
