so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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