Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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