we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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