Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
