mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
