He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
