so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
