If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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