It's just like the Real World with babies
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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