Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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