watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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