he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
