We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
