Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
