By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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