What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
