Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
