you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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