dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
