i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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