Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
