reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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