okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
