Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
