Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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