Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize