We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just cropdusted the office
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize