New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
